Merry Christmas Everyone!

I'm currently at home with my parents and enjoying Christmas like a blast. So there, I hope my dear readerships are also having a great Christmas! Love you all!

At A Crossroad

Have you ever been in a situation when you're choosing between two very important decisions? When choosing one of these will change your life forever? I'm pretty sure you have! Being at a crossroads is one of life's little quirks.

"To be or not to be?" was Hamlet's question over and over again when he was deciding whether to FIGHT or to SUFFER. For me it's either to FIGHT and SUFFER or just leave forever. Should I fight over my Senior Geologist position at work and yet endure the sheer incompetence and hypocrisy of people around me? Or should I just give up, leave Mindanao for good and find job elsewhere?

In all honesty, I feel sad everytime I choose (in my moment of fickle mindedness) to just leave Mindanao for good. I like Mindanao, especially this part of the island. Contrary to popular belief, not all regions of the island is dangerous at all, even for a disaster magnet like me. I have a bigger chance of being mugged in Manila while walking in broad daylight compared to walking along Cagayan De Oro streets during impossible hours (except to be mistaken for a whore, LOL). Terrorists and subversives lurk in the southwestern region and even there, kidnapping and other crimes happens at a smaller rate compared to Manila presumably because military units and their checkpoints are also everywhere.

BUT, the public service and thus, the overall political system is sucky! And it's not just in the office where the concept of "it's not what you know but who you know" is generally the basis for hiring employees. This concept unfortunately applies to filing cases, getting married, getting free medical stuffs and basically getting public services. If your house got on fire, the BFP (Bureau of Fire Protection) will only investigate and fine the one who caused it if you have the money. If you're the arsonist or in my case, the-irresponsible-apartment-owner-who-never-bothered-to-apply-for-building-permit-and-thus-avoid-fire-investigation, you only have to pay the bureau, and voila, no investigation! If you're applying for a marriage license, you have to wait two weeks or more before it's released or put money under the table if you want it pronto! You want to mine chromite in Region 10? Just bring your millions to our Regional Director and voila, your magic mining documents are ready and your fake geologists at your service/

Would I, can I, will I, just accept all of these into my system blindy by pretending that these blatant corruption is not happening around me?

I don't know.

It's choosing between keeping my job and mum's the word OR leaving Mindano and its sucky political system for good. The bigger question is, where will I go? ? Will my next destination be any better?

Probably not.

When in Rome?

No way. My years at UP (my alma mater) had taught me to keep my principles despite the frustrations.

And all the things that happened this year (a bad year!) are very frustrating.


Source of the cool photo:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/vincent_vega/2652738706/

Through The Fire

As I was inside the taxi on my way to work this morning, my mind was muddled with thoughts on "what would have beens" if the fire didn't happen. I would be in a jeep and not spending a lot for a taxi to get me to the office. I would have kissed my baby goodbye before I hit the shower later kiss him goodbye again when I'm ready to leave for work. I would have checked my Christmas tree with another glance again, thinking of how to improve it for the nth time. I may have taken pictures of my latest projects with the raw jpeg files securely stored in my sd card. I would have postem them now on this blog and on Facebook awaiting comments from my friends. I would have made a lot of progress on my pending jewelry projects. I would have looked at my apartment up to the last minute, hoping that Gugu will look from the balcony and smile sweetly, before I board the jeepney.

This would have been my morning routine if the fire didn't break out and take my "normal" days away from me. A few days ago, a fire broke out from our bedroom and destroyed my personal belongings, bed, clothes, credentials and mobile phone included into charred remains. In my mind, I can still see the fire and smoke billowing out of our bedroom window, glass bursting from heat and air thick with black noxious gases. I can still see me looking at my apartment helplessly, shocked and bewildered. Until now, due to adrenaline rush, it still amaze me that I was able to bring heavy buckets of water to put out the fire with from the first floor to the second floor that looked like hell for minutes. Even in my dreams, I could still see my bed on fire and on some nights after the incident, dreams turn into nightmares where I see my baby crying on the bed, with fire monsters around him, ready to eat him alive.

It was traumatic. Until yesterday, sleep has evaded me. I could only stare at my bead collection, my mind blank on what project to do. The new house where we moved in still feel strange to me.. as if, I'm on a vacation house and that it will take a while for me to go back home. I still feel that everything is not normal around me. I still yearn for the warmth of my old bed, the toasty atmosphere of my old apartment and the predictability of everything in it from faulty wiring, to leaky ceiling and to low water supply in the mornings. I miss my old apartment.

But despite of it all, it's a huge relief that I was able to save my baby from the fire. We're lucky that it happened after we left the bed where the fire started. Lucky that it didn't happen while Gugu and I are sleeping. And the best thing about it is the I also realized that my relationship with Abner is fireproof and strong. Abner will be there for me and Gugu no matter what happens. He's Gugu's superman Daddy and he's my knight-and-shining armor though I admit, I never saw myself as the damsel-in-distress before. I was in fact, a bit of a hero (laughs sadly) after I helped put out the fire.

The biggest realization that hit me though is that: If Gugu were trapped in the fire and there was no way to save him, I'd have probably jumped into the bed to die with him.




(This is a photo of me a few days before the fire incident while I was happily showing my Christmas tree in front of the digicam... Those were the happy days in the old apartment...)

Club South Pacific

I was on field last Monday and Tuesday to conduct a Geohazard Identification Survey for Club South Pacific resort-hotel in Gitagum, Misamis Oriental. When I got there, I was amazed at how much of Mindanao (the northern part at least) I have not seen yet. I was surprised that behind the trees lining up the highway was a beautiful and untouched beach paradise. The sand was thick and cream, boulders of dead corals are scattered everywhere and the sea water's color grades from very light blue to dark blue, reflecting the clear sky above me. Even without getting my feet into the water, I could tell that deep into the sea are living corals and fishes that usually fringe the coastline of Misamis Oriental. Not only is the place perfect for swimming, it will be a great place to dive as well.

So here are the pictures of the place and the 3-D of the proposed development which I had taken out of the developer's website:





The last picture is the artist's sketch of the developer's plan for the area. The tall building will be the club house whereas the surrounding buildings will house the future hotels and restaurants. A marina will also be constructed for the yacht's docking space. I believe the architect has a lot of ideas for the site and I'll just cross my fingers.. Hope they don't destroy the natural beauty of the area but enhance it instead. :)

Another Shot at Photography

Photography is an expensive hobby. Until now, I don't own a camera, not even a cheap point-and-shoot because my government salary just can't afford it.

But when I started making beaded jewelries I saw the need to grab/borrow a point-and-shoot camera (no one would lend me their DSLRs :() that I will need to take photos of them. I saw the need to practice a lot because I learned (the hard way) that after hours of designing and meticulous piece-by-piece assembly of my jewelries, it become utterly frustrating everytime the photos of my "masterpiece" turn out either blurry or the colors dull.

Yesterday I decided to take another shot at photographing my recent beadworks. I read from a Photography article that backgrounds are as important as the subjects. I saw sample photos of earrings hanging on a foliage or bracelets worn around a piece of ceramic artwork. The problem was, I don't have any of those. Though it seemed to me a stupid idea as first, I decided to just hang my beadworks on unlikely places.

This bracelet, as you can see, is hanging on this whatchamacollit metal for my door's double lock. The bracelet looked dull against the color of my door so I decided to hang it around my study lamp.


And voila, the effect was astounding! The lamp's light enhanced the adamantine luster of the Swarovski bicone crystals. The turquoise colored crystals against the yellow background made the crystals appear transparent whereas the white light showed the true color of the crystals. The background (lamp) became the subject also.


This turquoise and pearl necklace looked dull against the black display bust. So I decided to hang this necklace around, guess what?






..the door knob! If you look closely, you can even see the reflection of me kneeling on the floor just to take this shot. I've also included the photo of the earrings and the lock for the necklace that I customized myself.


















And this necklace I made for Ai is a story in and by itself. I own a similar necklace which I bought in Baguio City last year. When Ai saw my necklace, she asked me to make one for her.. I wanted hers to be different, unique. So I decided to string pearls around a memory wire and make an accent pendant out of 1.5 mm nickel coated wire.

The pendant itself is also a story. The gold metal wirework is a peacock standing on the water (hereto represented by the turquoise pebbles and bicone crystals) with her head surrounded by white clouds (pearls) being blown by the wind (silver metal swirl on top of the pearls). For the peacok's wings, I used metallic blue bicone crystals. It may not be clear to you but for me, it's an abstract piece of art and I'm actually proud of it. :D

Then, scattering the colored pebbles I collected months ago and using it as the necklace's background, I took this macro shot.

It turned out that my ideas weren't as stupid as it seemed to me at first. Maybe next time I should try hanging my jewelry pieces on my toilet bowl? Now that would be really stupid. LOL

The Grinch Who Stole My Christmas. As if.

I will never grow old. Nah, it's not what you think. I didn't mean that in the literal sense. If Mr. Scrooge were within earshot, he'd probably say:

"Bah, hambug!"

I'm talking about Christmas and me not growing up. Already 20-something and a mother of one, I still celebrate Christmas like innocent kids who still believe in Santa Claus. And believe it or not, I've been awfully good this year.

Christmas will always be my favorite holiday for a number of puerile reasons:

1. It's the longest holiday of the year.
2. I love gifts. Gifts. Gifts!! (Oh please, don't tell me only kids get gifts on Christmas!)
3. I love the colorful decorations that people put up during the season.
4. I love staring at Christmas lights that blink like candies until my eyes tear up (and my mouth waters. LOL, kidding)
5. I love decorating my house with lanterns, fake fir trees and Christmas balls, tinsels and stars- the colorful and loud reminder that "Hey, it's Christmas! Where's my gift? Here's yours!".
6. I get to visit my loved ones who didn't see me for months.
7. And last but not the least, bazaars! Bazaars are the best and cheapest place to shop and spend the year's Christmas bonus! Let's shop galore!

But will this conversation with A the Grinch stop me from carrying out my merry plans this Christmas?

Hey baby, I want to buy a tree and put it up at the corner of our sala, close to the TV. Is that okay with you?

Christmas trees are expensive.

No worries. I saw this 5-ft tree at Kaking's in Cogon. It was really cheap compared to the ones in Limketkai's.

Well the ornaments, the garlands and the lights will cost a lot.

No problem, I intend to make my own using my beads so they won't cost a lot. And hello, Christmas lights don't even cost more than two hundred pesos. We definitely can afford those.

Can't we just skip all these holiday schemes of yours and think of the money we'll need for Gugu's christening bash in Bicol?!

Yeah, you're right.



As if. I'm buying my tree this weekend.

My Baby Has Started to Crawl!

On a positive note, my baby has started to crawl. So, last weekend, mommy Grassy and daddy Abner decided to buy Gugu a crib cum play pen. He's so active that we can no longer leave him unattended on our family bed and on a crib even when he's sleeping because he loves to toss and turn and crawl towards his toys.

Yesterday, I decided to buy him a new set of baby bolster pillows, bed sheet, comforter and the regular rectangular pillow. He loves to get his legs on mine when I'm breastfeeding him and bolster makes good substitute when I'm not around. I also chose white for his bedding set because unfortunately, due to rainy season, mosquitoes are also everywhere. And no black mosquito will go without notice against a white background righty?

Since I was in a shopping spree, I also bought myself a bangle that's also a watch. Cute, isn't it?

My baby though, is way cuter:

"Looking at how mommy operates her digicam"

"First solid meal"

"We were on the beach the whole day so my baby got tired and decided to hit the sack early"

"Mommy and Gugu shadows"

"Mommy and Baby Gugu shadows II)

"Gugu and his new toy"

I got the ax

First of all, I'd like to apologize to my readerships about the previous emotionally-charged-uber-disturbing blog post. I was actually so agitated when I wrote that one that I didn't even bother to check for vocabulary lapses. I'm still agitated until now, but not enough not to be objective about the things around me, here at work, particularly.

Have you ever wondered why the phrase "I got the ax" would more often than not correspond to "I got fired"? and people, usually, follow that with a sympathetic question, "oh, what happened?" even if you're holding an actual ax in your hand and is about to chop of their heads for asking stupid questions. I wondered about it myself at one point but the answer dawned on me, or rather the question became important due to a series of unfortunate events (if I may quote Lemony Snicket) here at work.

I'm not a history buff but I know for a fact that succession of kings in royal families had caused so much violence in the past. Loyalists to the incumbent kings were often either beheaded or subjected to other forms of atrocities when a new one is enthroned, particularly if the change of leadership was through a violent war.

A change of leadership at work had resulted to rolling of heads, a cry of "I got the ax!" was heard in every nook of our dilapidated office, it was too loud to be ignored.

When the new director took position, I directly asked him if there's going to be a change in our employment as contractuals. He assured as that our services are needed so neither termination nor change in the contracts will happen. It was therefore a great shock to us when a few days after, the personnel officer approached one of the employees nonchalantly and told her:

"Please receive this."

When my co-employee looked at the paper and read, she was expecting an explanation. Instead, the notice of termination of her service was screaming at her from that piece of paper. What was shocking was that the termination was effective October 1 and the notice was dated September 29 which didn't give the contractuals enough time to adjust and find another job.

No explanation was given verbally. When we asked during the open forum why this was so, they just told us that the notice was written in English and therefore, easily understandable and that there simply is no funds anymore to pay us. But what about the impact of that termination notice to us? Couldn't they care about how we would feel? Couldn't they consider all the accomplishments we made for the office before writing that notice and addressing it in such a "brutal" and inconsiderate manner? It's simply atrocious! I still can't believe how the government agency could hire such incompetent and unprofessional individuals.

And shouldn't they know in advance how the funds are going? What are bookkeeping and auditing for if they keep losing track of all the financial transactions and be caught in such financial surprise? Lack of funds, my ass. In the first place, before we signed our contracts, we were assured that there's going to be enough funds for our salary til end of this year. Where did this fund go?

The notice was addressed to all the contractuals, at that time, all 20 or so of us. 20+ heads rolled across the filthy floor of that office. Because of sheer lack of foresigh, a number 0f families will spend the Christmas quietly, with no festive moods and such. A number of children will cry for gifts and parents will endure these with bowed heads.

Where is justice in that?

In these trying times of global recession and with Christmas time just around the corner, the termination is very untimely.

On the same day, we wrote a letter asking for the union to help us in telling the office to issue a recall because the termination was short notice and simply, unfair. This letter was signed by me and other employees which we decided to send to the central office in Manila for their comments and actions.

The letter shook the regional office like earthquake so the Admin people wrote a retraction letter the next day stating that everything's been settled and that we wish to retract all the complaints in our previous letter. Then they office asked the contractuals to sign. The batch of people who signed the letter to the union, the first letter, didn't sign the rectraction letter of course, except for a few who were harassed into signing. Why won't they sign if they were harassed into thinking that their jobs are at stake here? I can't blame them. But harassing employees like this through blatant manipulation and malevolent schemes, I believe, is against the law.

The following day, a memo signed by the new director was passed around stating that due to backlogs, the contractuals are asked to work til October 15 without assurance of salary.

WTF?!

In the first place, the contractuals (who are mostly young idealistic individuals) were the ones who go 0n fieldworks and accomplish all the targets that the oldies of this office chose not to work on due to plain laziness and sheer incompetence. The contractuals definitely have no backlogs!

And no assurance of salary?! WTF?!

This office is my personal hell.

In hell

I'm currently in hell. This place has given me more pains than joys.. It really is time to move on to greener and better pastures. What else would I be talking about but this stupid government agency where I'm currently working now. It's just too painful to be here at the moment, enduring the accusing looks of people, enduring all the betrayals from people who I considered to be my friends.